* Sung to the melody of “Drunken Sailor”
I recently professed my love/obsession/fixation with stubby pencils and my goal to collect an entire jug full (read all about that here). However, since posting that I’ve reflected on the topic some more and come to a conclusion: stubbin’ ain’t easy.
What’s a pencil-lover to do as a pencil approaches the end of its life? It enters the “awkward phase”, similar to a person trying to grow their hair out. You know, when it’s not long enough to be long hair, but it’s so long that it looks like they really need to get a haircut. It’s kind of the inverse with pencils: it’s too long to throw away, but short enough to feel a little cramped and weird. So I’ve been thinking a little bit lately about any particularly useful jobs for a pencil that is reaching the age of semi-retirement.
One thing I’ve started using mine for are carpentry and home-improvement type projects. Stubs fit perfect in the pocket, and if you’re just tracing lines on a square it doesn’t matter how you hold them. In fact, sometimes it’s nice to have a shorty that can fit in tight spaces and still make a relatively precise mark.
Depending on whether you’re obsessive enough about pencil stubs to attempt to fill a huge M&Ms jar with them, the fact that they’re nearing the end of their life may or may not make them an intuitive candidate for “rough duty”. I’ve found that project pencils tend to get left out in the yard, fall into weird cracks, have rocks dropped on them, and so forth. (The Nataraj Bold stub depicted in my Happy Stub Completion Day post was nearly finished when it slipped between the cracks of my new deck and fell to its eternal resting place beneath). On the one hand, it pains me to have sunk enough of my life into a pencil to get thisclose to finishing it, only to have it go missing or get smooshed. On the other, it seems rational that if you’re going to do something that might trash a pencil, you might choose one that’s on the way out anyway rather than one that has its whole life ahead of it.
In the comments of the aforementioned post, reader Nicolas suggested pencil extenders. That just seems a little too much, even for me. I’m not here to judge, I’m just saying that buying a separate device so that I can eke out every last millimeter of a pencil is below my minimum attractive rate of return.
However, the thought of getting a bullet pencil did cross my mind. I came across a lot of posts about bullet pencils over at Woodclinched in the past and thought “what are these crappy things and why would you want one?” but now I get the appeal. Bullet pencils, which were common during mid-20th century in North America (although they actually originated elsewhere, using actual bullet casings spent during Britain’s wars), were a type of combination pencil/case/extender, often given away as promotional items. You’d take your pickup truck on down to the mill & feed and they’d throw one in, their name emblazoned on it, with your seed order so you could make notes about your crops or whatever. A stub-sized wood pencil was encased in a brass sheath, maybe with a pocket clip, that kept it safe while it was tucked away in your overalls pocket. When needed, you’d extend the pencil from the sheath, making it a comfortable size to write with. I can see how having a protective casing to prevent pencil abuse, an extending device to make the stubbins comfortable to use, and a pen clip (plus a little more bulk) to keep them from falling into unreachable places would be appealing!
The problem with bullet pencils is, unless you want to buy one of the new-school fahncy recreations or buy a vintage one from an antique vendor, they’re hard to find. I don’t know if it’s what I really want to spend my $30 on. I could get a lot of new pencils for that much.
Then, there was Heidi who pointed me in the direction of this strange device which allows you to combine multiple stubs into one Frankenpencil. I just…I can’t. Part of the appeal of woodcased pencils to me is feeling like I’ve finished something. I know this is silly. I know it’s not actually an accomplishment worth celebrating. Maybe my life is so devoid of meaning that I have to grasp at straws to find something to show for it. But, wow. The thought of a pencil just going on and on and on forever gives me anxiety. Also, it reminds me too much of Human Centipede.
Anyway, while I try to scour that image from my brain, let me hear what you have to say. Do pencil stubs serve any specific purpose for you?